On The Road With Al and Ivy: Blog

"And as you learn the magic, learn to believe it. Don't be 'surprised' when it works, you undercut your power." - Diane di Prima (Revolutionary Letter #46 - 1968) The earliest known incident that referenced the Code Of Chivalry was recorded on a copper leaf fragment from the Lost Gospel Of Murgatroyd. Internet experts have estimated the date of origin to be 11,000,987 B.C. in Ancient Sumeria, and it was unearthed in 1998 by an treasure hunter using a metal detector on the Chicago side of Lake Michigan.  Some critics assert that the fragment is actually a piece of a copper bracelet featured on a TV shopping channel that was claimed to have a therapeutic effect on carpal injuries suffered while attempting to complete online customer service forms. The treasure hunter posted the discovery on social media, which have stringent policies in place to combat fraudulent claims thus the Sumerian origin of the fragment can be considered authentic by normal Internet standard...

"With an old and tried swordsman like myself, knowledge of the use of his weapon is everything; but with a young Hotspur of your temper, strength and energy go for much." - Arthur Conan Doyle (Micah Clarke) Internet experts state that in the early prehistoric days of mankind, when men were men, and women could have as many boyfriends as they felt like having, climate change created an extinction event that wiped out all of the man eating dinosaurs and saber tooth tigers, who in their hungry heyday made sure that no human being lived longer than, say, ten years. This removed one of the biggest reasons that cavemen and cavewomen didn’t last very long; leaving only disease, starvation, minor injuries, warfare, and marriage. The longer life spans created new social phenomena, such as villages, condos, Kings and Emperors, celebrities famous for being famous, organized warfare, government, poor people, and of course, reality shows.  However, the most pervasive sociological innovat...

"You may well ask me such things, that to some I shall answer truly, and to others I shall not." And she added, "If you were well informed about me, you would wish me to be out of your hands. I have done nothing except by revelation." - Jeanne D'Arc (The Trial of Jeanne D'Arc, trans. by W.P. Barrett) The historical origins of music aren't clear. However, the internet, which is never at a loss for words, provides a wealth of competing theories, which as a matter of fairness, will be listed without comment, though I'll omit the purported dates so we won't have to remember anything. The various wellsprings of song include: Lyre accompaniment to Greek poetry recitals, accompaniment to seasonal and fertility rites, celebrating a successful harvest, bird songs that inspired the Flintstones and Barney Rubble to explore their inner fem, tribal drummers playing long boring solos so people started adding vocals, aliens giving ancient Egyptians another nud...

"Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice." - H.L. Mencken (Prejudices, Third Series, 1922) One of the decisions about "The Quitters" was how “historical” it should be. To a certain extent, it has to be, as most of the scene described in the early chapters was centered on late 70s era Broadway Street in San Francisco (part of the North Beach section), no longer exists. The strip clubs, particularly the (in)famous Condor Club, are still on the corner of Columbus and Broadway, but muted and now are rather ritzy “Gentleman’s Clubs” which are a far cry from the sleazy dives (complete with Barkers) that extended in a line further down the street. Two landmarks are gone, victims of the times, gentrification and high rents. The first was Enrico’s, a famous coffee house and restaurant, and Finnochio’s, the bar that featured cross-dressing performers, both of which are mentioned in chapters for color and as part of the story. Gone also is the pinball par...